far...

To go somewhere far where noone knows me and start everything new

20111219 Americanized..

Lord..
How am i supposed to be calmed at what is happening to her? being sexually harassed at work by customers and coworkers and she does absolutely nothing and thinking its normal and its just an american style of greeting/being friendly? i truly am disappointed.. disappointed that she doesn't even know how to protect herself and doesn't even feel the need to do so.. best of all.. she thinks its absolutely normal...

I truly can't control myself but laugh when she thinks i really don't understand and just being conservative..
1) i've grown up in an American society most of my life
2) for over 10years 99% of my friends are all american and non-asian
3) 98% of all my high school friends were attractive females so i know exactly how to act around them
4) i am a man who used to get different girls with different ways
5) i have good friends all over the world in different countries and cultures which i know different cultural greetings
6) i study a lot of manners/greetings/communication skills just because i've always been into it
7) i work in one of the biggest and top company in the world where they teach proper/real corporation standards and legal issues such as Sexual Harassment yearly so i know how 'real business person' or 'high class'/'educated' people should act like


so thinking i don't know/understand how people should act around people or i've just never seen the world/big scene just make me laugh..
..... this is definitely affecting me, affecting the relationship.. affecting my trust towards her..
Lord.. please help me.. i really don't know what to do since i don't want to force her to change.. so please change her for me Lord.. i don't want to offend her, her job, her coworkers, her customers.. but this is really changing my views on all of them... isn't D******** supposed to be a high class restaurant with 'proper' customers?


Ask yourself this and truthfully think about it... "if you truly understands and agree with what i say/think, why would you ask me what i want you to do?" since you would already know what you should do..
you say that you love me and will do all that i want you to do only means you don't understand/nor agree with it and just doing what i tell you to do which is a type of controlling....

感激我遇見

我真係好愛好愛你...多謝你,我親愛嘅老婆 <3

Heartache 心隱

"一個願打,一個願捱" is a chinese expression that means "2 people are a perfect match when one loves being hit and the other loves hitting"

Who am i to say anything if one loves calling and the other is encouraging it by not doing/saying anything? Other than alil angry, i guess i am mostly disappointed. But what do i think i should do? I will trust her handling it nicely...

Currently in a real bad mood, something is up my chest putting saddness in me. Is it because of this roger situation? Or is it school? Or simply because im not relying on God with my life?

I extremely want to curse..

I think i have failed my final, i think my semester is doomed, and i think i have to pay for this semester.. im thinking about giving up again...
I hate this..... my mind is currently messed up and really want to curse...

Satisfied in life

My coworker, Helen, just came back from her 3-weeks vacation from Burma and she shared some of her great experiences with me in which helped her reflect on how lucky and how grateful/thankful we should be for living in the states. In usa, we have soo soo much opportunities, we have job, place to live, car to drive, food to eat where in some other parts of the world is totally different... they cant even think about if there are better lives out there in another world because thats where they are stuck..... yea, another thing to be thankful for.... praise the Lord

Thankful for Courage

Im just so proud of my baby... today she finally took this important step of her life.

The top#1 that i need and want to thank is my Abba-Father! Lord You are amazing and You are the only One who is worth all praises. You have kept Your promises to carry our burdens. You have listened closely to our prayers only because we are Your children that You love so dearly. You are our shepherd who protects us and leads us to a fruitful field. You have granted Ada wisdom and the courage to speak what is good and righteous. You have prepared Roger's ear, mind, and heart to accept the facts. Lord i praise You, i thank You, i need You for You are my God and the only One we need. Lord You are just too amazing....

Something that i dont understand in a sense, is that...does anyone has any rights at all to say "he should watch out if he doesnt treat you right" while he himself was actually the one who hurt the girl real bad and also who gave up on the relationship previously? I just dont get that kind of mentality. But i am thankful that he gave up or else i wouldnt have the sweetest baby in the world with me...

From now on it starts.... dec 9,2011... is our whole new beginning!! Ada u have nothing to worry about from now on... for you have me.. who is willing to take care of you for the rest of the time God allows me to live...

Grateful

I praise God for being able to be with her...
I thank God for giving me a clear sight to be able to see myself marrying her..
I give thanks to my God for letting me know how much i love her...

Yes.. i can't wait to experience life with her.. when 2 becomes 1...

I love you, Ada.. and I love you with all of my heart...

......

Sometimes i wonder what i should do.. how i should feel..
I am totally not in control and i don't know how I should handle this..

I just find it real hard to be angry because i love her so much..

Love..actually

I really love her alot.... thank You Lord....

I can't stop being excited to experience everything in my whole life with her...

Weakness...

Being insecured had always been my biggest weakness in a romance relationship, maybe its due to the fact that im not having enough self-confidence? Or its what i had experienced before which changed me?
Truthfully, im really really thankful to be with her whom i love and care for so much. But what can i do in order to be more confident? I trust her being faithful and also would solely focus in me but somehow i still feel the insecurity....

Yup.... thats my weakness.. thats a reminder that im so imperfect.... thats why i need Jesus...
The Lord will be my judge, He is in control, and all i can do is to lean on Him, rely on Him, trust in Him...He is my Lord my God my Abba-Father